Embrace Grieving

Embrace Grieving

As you may have heard from my last post, I recently graduated! It is an exciting transition for me with much anticipation towards what is in store for this next season of life. However, what many of us forget as we all make great transitions in life, is that we still experience endings. In order to begin, often something else must end.

These endings can mean we experience some sort of loss and can bring unexpected grief and emotions for which we may not be prepared. Towards the end of my last semester, I started to experience just that. Had I not experienced it before, and had a wise counselor (yes, counselors go to counseling too) speak into my life about grief, I may not have been prepared for the conflicted emotions and thoughts that emerged.

Someone does not have to die for us to experience losses in our life. Loss also does not always mean something negative happened.

Just as we all lose our baby teeth, losses in life allow for new opportunities and growth.

Over the past weeks and months, I have been in a sort of grieving process of this season of life coming to an end. It was a long and cumbersome season where I worked long days and studied and went to school in the evenings. I had a big breakup during this season and also fell in love and got married in this season. God was so faithful throughout the process, even though it was not always enjoyable. Somehow, even though I looked forward to and longed for this day to come, there is a part of me that grieved. I made friends during this season, and I also did not spend as much time with friends as I would have liked.

Grief can be a motivator. When we grieve, we recognize our feelings and the good and the bad, but we don’t have to stay there.

There comes a point in time where we have to recognize and accept that things have changed, or are changing.

“We add to our suffering when life changes and we behave as if it hasn’t.” Mark Nepo

We can do something in the future, as a result of what grief has taught or is teaching us. My grieving has shown me that my word for the year – EMBRACE- was the perfect word. I will always be in some kind of season working towards some kind of goal. That does not need to stop me from embracing moments with the people I love and creating memories. I can pay attention- LISTEN- to what is happening around me and in me, and move forward in peace.

 

Are you in a transition season of life?

 

Is there something that you have not yet grieved?

 

Is there something changing in your life that you’re trying to act like it is not happening?

My Hope Story- 3 Years Ago to Now

My Hope Story- 3 Years Ago to Now

If I looked at my life 3 years ago, at this time I was in the midst of chaos and panic. My new fiancé at the time had just told me he felt a block in his heart for me, on my birthday, which I felt was the worst possible timing.  We had experienced problems on and off, but always had hope that we would eventually work things out. We were both committed and loyal, yet often it seemed that we were trying to force it to work. The entire Christmas season was a roller coaster of emotions, something I had never experienced. The holidays (and my birthday) had always been a time full of love, security, hope, and generosity. That year, it seemed like my heart was being ripped out of me over and over again.

I wrote in my journal, “Why is life so hard? Why do I have to wallow in self pity like I do? Why can’t i be free and happy like I used to be? Why is it so complicated and hurtful?”

Later that year, I would go on to take a break, and eventually break off the engagement and relationship, after having exhausted all options of help and repair. It was one of the hardest and most weighty decisions I had ever made. I wrestled with fear of what others would think, say, or if I would ever be able to love again. I didn’t know if anyone would want to be with me if I had already called off an engagement with another guy. Yet I knew I could not continue to live the way things were going for another few months, let alone an entire lifetime. When I finally made the decision and followed through, it was like a weight was released from my shoulders. I finally felt like my free and happy self again, after so many months of despair.

Little did I know, was that in about 9 more months, I would experience more freedom, and eventually I would go on a date with the person who would be my husband- right around the same season where I felt it all first fall apart the year before. THEN, a year later, I would be marrying him. And now, another year later, and 3 years total after that desperate season, I am almost a year married, and finding it hard to believe that life can really be this good again.

I KNOW there will be depths yet to come (such is life), BUT I also KNOW God follows through on His promises. He is GOOD (ALL THE TIME), and will not leave me alone, even at the depths of the most confusing of moments. I know a breakup is not the most hopeless of moments, but as Victor Frankl says,

“… suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the “size” of human suffering is absolutely relative.”

What are you suffering through today? Can you remember a time when you had greater suffering? What about greater hope?

Can you imagine where your life could be just 1, 2, or 3 years from now? We do not know what the future holds, but we know who holds our future.

There is HOPE!

UNSUBSCRIBE

UNSUBSCRIBE

How many useless emails do you get on a daily basis? I’m always one for a deal, so I seem to find myself signing up for an email discount, and subsequently receiving multiple emails, sometimes daily from the same places about things I neither want nor need.

I find myself almost every morning, weeding out all of those meaningless emails to find the few good ones that actually contain valuable information for my life. Years upon years of spending time reading through subject lines and deleting thousands upon probably millions of emails, and today, just today, I unsubscribed. Thinking it would be too much of a hassle to unsubscribe from these countless emails, I just dealt with them because I thought I had to.

I “suffered” through the daily bombardment of countless emails unnecessarily! All that I had to do was simply scroll to the bottom of the email, and hit that joyous word UNSUBSCRIBE. It was much simpler than I thought, and got me thinking about some other things I was possibly avoiding because they seemed complicated, when they might actually be quite simple.

Maybe that means actually writing that thank you letter that you meant to send to your grandma

  • calling that friend that you lost touch with
  • cleaning up the mess in the sink (it will probably take less than 2 minutes- you can do it!)
  • Folding the clothes
  • Saying you’re sorry

Sometimes, we build things up in our heads to make them scary and huge, when a simple action can rid us of the worry and anxiety we create for ourselves.

If it actually ends up being bigger, sometimes the simple act can be a good start, and makes it easier to act again, and again, and again.

Unsubscribe.

One Call Away


I had my first plunger experience recently. It was a little bit scary and a lot a bit embarrassing. No one wants to say they clogged the toilet, yet we all have at some point.  
The thought of someone else taking care of my mess made me sick. So I turned to the only one who I knew could help, wouldn’t judge me and would lovingly understand my mess. My father. He is a plumber, among many other things. And knew exactly what I needed to do. He text-walked me though the steps to plunge the toilet. I asked a million questions before I actually got down and dirty, and finally, with surprisingly little effort, the clog was gone. 

I couldn’t help but think of how I try to hide my other embarrassing messes. When the water pressure gets low and my heart gets clogged, I don’t want people to know and try to just let it sit and maybe eventually it will go away. 

I don’t want any other person to know, for fear of judgement and disgust. 

Sometimes time does heal, but other times, we need to grab our plunger and get to work. 

Thankfully, we have a loving father we can run to, who will never condemn us or ridicule us for his mess. He will always answer our call. He happens to be an expert plumber, a jack of all trades, and he knows exactly what we need to do. He lovingly takes us through the steps, often without us knowing what the next one is. We plunge and plunge until the clog is gone. And at the end, we can breathe a sigh of relief and thank our Father who was with us every step of the way. He has an answer to every one of our questions-though sometimes we don’t like the answer. 

We just have to humble ourselves and ask. 

“So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:21‬ ‭NLT‬

“The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭69:32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What clogs do you have in your heart today? 

Take some time to seek his face, give him a call and maybe even do some heart plumbing work. 

Fear in His Hands

Fear in His Hands
Oh Lord please forgive me for deep down in my heart
I’ve realized what I’ve harboured almost from the very start. 
See I’ve always had plenty, yes, more than enough,
but somehow I still worry that one day I’ll have none. 
So I fret and I fear of the future trials to come.
And work and save up to pay for the potentially large sums. 
I work day to day, honorable enough I am sure, 
but, see, my motives are not always very pure. 
For somewhere along the way I have wrongly presumed,

Continue reading “Fear in His Hands”

The Advantage of Bumpers

The Advantage of Bumpers

Today as I was thinking about life and such, God brought this picture to my mind.

Bowling has gutters and if we aren’t careful or skilled, the ball will end up in the gutter. However, someone came up with this wise idea to put up bumpers in order to guide the ball to where it needs to go (for those of us less skilled at bowling).

Often in life, we can foolishly end up in the gutter and miss the mark completely. However, God put wisdom in place to guide us to where we need to go. James tells us that we don’t have to do anything special to receive that wisdom except ASK!

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

We only need to ask God for wisdom and he will generously give it to us without finding fault!
We have the opportunity to live with wisdom to get us going in God’s direction, and help us make that mark. We cannot do it on our own, we just need to ASK GOD!

Will you ask Him today?