Part 2: Birth
Early morning June 8th (3 days after my “guess date”), I woke up to some waves that seemed a little different than any of those practice “Braxton Hicks” contractions. I had planned to attend a women’s conference that day if I still had not birthed our baby yet, so I contemplated if I should still go. Eventually, with the help of my doula, I decided it would be good to go and enjoy the time. It could even be a good distraction if things continued to move along as we did not know how quickly or slow things would happen. Plus, I only lived a few minutes away and would have no problem returning home early if need be.
The theme of the women’s event was “The Dawn” and it was the perfect beginning to a beautiful birth. One speaker shared that the word “dawn” meant the “first appearance of light in the sky before sunrise, or the beginning of a phenomenon or period of time, especially one considered favorable.” As I heard these definitions, a sense of peace and awe washed over me as I knew my time was near.
As we worshiped, the lyrics to the song also immersed me in a secret place of security and trust in the process that was soon to come.
In Your presence I will dwell
In the shelter of You the Most High
In Your presence I will sing
You are faithful, the God who covers me
With love and mercy
Your are my refuge, You are my fortress
And I will trust You, and I will trust You
In times of trouble, still You are with me
And I will trust You, and I will trust You
At the event, they asked who was the closest to having a baby. A few of us raised our hands and shared due dates. Of course mine was the closest as my due date was 3 days prior! In my head and heart I knew that it was sooner than anyone else would know at the time.
As I returned home, I shared with Teddy the events of the morning, and my thoughts and feelings about what was to come. We listened to some worship music and with tears streaming down my face, I committed once again this process to God, as we knew long before when we discovered we were pregnant that a child is a gift from God that we get to steward.
We tried to go about our day as normally as possible but with so much anticipation and excitement that it was hard to focus on much else. Things did not seem to be progressing too quickly so we even ventured out to get some Zesto ice cream to distract us.
Later that evening, it seemed things were starting to progress so we had our doula and my mom prepare to get to our house.
Both my mom and our doula arrived right around this time and we already had our hypnobabies background music playing with low lights and pillows all around. My pressure waves (contractions) seemed to be more in my back, which my doula quickly realized were some signs of back labor. She had me lay on my back and placed her arm underneath me to get our baby to turn into a better position.
After trying multiple positions and walking or moving around, things were still not progressing too quickly. My doula advised me to try and get some sleep. As disappointed as I was at the time, it was probably exactly what I needed. After a few hours of sleep with Teddy in our bed, I woke to more intense waves. I woke him and came downstairs to share the news. We tried more positions, I walked up and down the stairs, sat on the toilet, swayed with Teddy, sat on the birth ball, and so many more. Each time a wave came, I would go into my zone and either Teddy or Aly (doula) would apply some pressure to my hips or back.
Soon Teddy began preparing our bags and things to go to the birth center. This got me excited and motivated me too keep going. However, there was still some time.
Around 6am I had been somewhat nauseous, so we finally called the midwife and decided we could start moving in that direction. Around 7am we arrived at the birth center and got settled there with some more intense waves. My cervix was checked, but we asked that the midwife not share the information with me. I simply told myself that I was at 8 centimeters already and that it would not be much longer. By 8:30 I had thrown up and was having more consistent and intense waves.
Close to 9am I was able to get in the tub and shortly after that, we saw bubbles in the tub. Eventually I had slight pushy feelings and at one point felt some pressure below and heard a big pop! I looked around and said what was that?! They told me it was my water breaking. Things were moving along. The tub was nice and warm and I moved back and forth between a hands and knees position to laying back in Teddy’s arms. At some point he read the notecards we had prepared with scriptures and affirmations and it was one of my favorite parts of the birthing process. It brought me peace and motivation to keep going.
Around 11:40 I moved back to the hands and knees position and started pushing. This time to me seemed like an eternity and was a huge mental battle. At one point during this stage, I contemplated my “options” since it seemed like this baby would never come out. I thought it was probably too late to get an epidural and I definitely was not going to opt for a c-section at this point after all the work I had done. I prayed to God and finally surrendered to him that I was weak and could not do this on my own. I asked him to be stronger in my weakness. With each push I had started to get discouraged that I was not going fast enough or doing the whole birth thing good enough. I surrendered over and over in my mind, knowing Jesus would carry me through. Apparently during this time I seemed still so full of peace and determination that no one in the room would have known what was happening in my mind.
Finally, after straining and pushing for close to 2 hours, I heard the midwife tell me to reach down and pick up my baby. She was born and in an instant it was over. I felt bewildered and amazed and overwhelmed with love as I pulled my baby up from the water. Teddy came behind me and we gazed at the beauty covered in so much vernix as she let out her wail and eventually calmed as she laid on my chest.
After a few minutes of skin to skin, it was time to get out of the tub and into the bed. While still holding our sweet Thea, and her umbilical cord still attached to the placenta inside of me, my birth team helped me out of the water and waddled across the room and into the bed. We had done it! I could barely see much besides my babies face as my eyes hurt from the pushing.
Teddy hopped in bed next to me to cuddle our new babe and cut the cord. During our shared skin to skin time, I finaly asked the question that had been gnawing at my mind the whole time, “how many centimeters was I when we first came in?!” He and my birth team shared that I was 5 centimeters (normally to be admitted you have to be at 6), but that I was 80% effaced and “very stretchy.” My whole birth team knew and continued to encourage me. I was so thankful that I did NOT know that information or I would have been greatly discouraged. I truly think that is part of what helped me to enjoy the process. Maybe sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Our desire was for our birth experience to be a holy one, full of worship, peace, and love. Our sweet Thea was born on a Sunday, with prayer and scripture spoken while I was in that tub. Our act of worship that Sunday morning was a labor of love and surrender.
I am so thankful to my birthing team:
Teddy, who was the greatest partner and husband in this process and I felt so comfortable with him by my side almost the entire time. He brought peace and love into the process and I could not have done it without him.
My mom, who took care of me and Teddy, and our doula to ensure that everything went smoothly. She also prepared our house so we could come home after 12 hours to a peaceful environment and then stayed for 4 days to ease the transiiton.
Aly McClain, our doula, for the encouragement, knowledge, skills, and intuition to keep that little bit of info from me in order to help us all with a beautiful birthing process.
Andrea Showers, our hypnobabies instructor for preparing us and equipping us with some great tools to get the birth that we desired.
Rachael, our midwife, whom we never met before that day (though we had intended to), and who waited patiently and encouraged sweetly throughout the whole process.
Erica and Heather, the other two midwives who helped us during the pregnancy process.
CHI Immanuel Birthing Center for creating a home-like environment.
Also thanks to each person who prayed for us, brought us meals, gifted us with baby gear, or more. We so appreciate the community who supports us!